WTF men?

Why you gotta?

“Stereotypical feminine behavior and attitudes are more in parallel with taking care of the environment,” Wilkie said of the findings. “Male traits tend to conflict with this idea of maintaining a nice environment for other people.”

[A] 2011 survey from the global marketing firm Ogilvy and Mather found 82 percent of adults in a nationally representative sample said “going green” is more ladylike than manly.

O.o

Seems some of you d00ds never quite outgrew the “ew girl cooties!” stage from when you were 9. This is a masculinity that is quite literally toxic.

The article doesn’t mention it, but this tendency reeks of entitlement at least as much as it does masculine fragility.

Or maybe it’s just me? Entitlement is maybe (okay probably?) front and center in my mind right now: about fifteen minutes ago, I was harassed on the street (“Hey mama! You got it going on! Whoa you’re so put together! Damn!”) by a d00d who became more and more agitated as I continued to ignore him.

“Hey! HEY! HEY MAMA! HEY! HEYYYYY! M’AM! M’AAAAAAAM! HEY!”

I was afraid to turn around, to find out whether the d00d was following me and coming closer, or (ideally) staying put and just getting louder.

In the real world, in real time, I have to make split second judgments about whether to engage or ignore a rando d00d on the street.

Smile and say thank you? I’d better be prepared for some kind of escalation, including being followed, talked at obscenely, touched and groped, or worse.

Ignore? I’d still better be prepared for some kind of escalation including being followed, talked at obscenely, touched and groped, or worse.

Tell him to go fuck himself? So as to, you know, disincentivize similar behavior in the future? I WANT TO. But. Well. I’m sure you get the picture.

My “choice” of response, if you can even call it that, is hardly a rational decision. And why would it be? There are no optimal responses, no winning strategies, no hedge-your-bets statistical algorithms or killer apps you can just call up on your iPhone. Even if there were, the (rational) fear of imminent violence will override your high-level brain functions no matter who you are: you will involuntarily shift to fight-or-flight mode, whether you want to or not. That reaction is ancient and inevitable when it comes to sentient life on Earth.

__________

I eventually found myself out of earshot of the catcalls, if just barely. I think it’s because another *shiny object* was now approaching him and became his new target. Unfortunately.

I felt relief, and then guilt. How is this in any way a win?

I still think, upon reflection and after my heart rate has slowed, that there is a very real connection between this masculine sense of entitlement to demand dominion over women and dominion over the Earth.

__________

Pro tip for d00ds: If you want to enjoy a pink drink (Aperol Martini HELLO?!) then fucking order one.

2 thoughts on “WTF men?

  1. @Iris Vander Pluym

    ” Even if there were, the (rational) fear of imminent violence will override your high-level brain functions no matter who you are: you will involuntarily shift to fight-or-flight mode, whether you want to or not. ”

    What a different world we would have if more men would take the time an actually listen to women and their concerns. :/

    As always, I blame the patriarchy.

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