Major Award: Protector of Traditional Family Values of the Day.

Kentucky State Rep. Mary Lou Marzian is a primo mocker after my own heart.

Tired of what she considers the government inserting itself into women’s private lives, a Kentucky lawmaker has decided to return the favor.

Rep. Mary Lou Marzian, a Louisville Democrat, has introduced a bill that would force men who want to use erectile dysfunction drugs to jump through a series of humiliating hoops beforehand, such as visiting a doctor twice and getting notes from their wives.

“I want to protect these men from themselves,” Marzian, who is a nurse, told the Courier-Journal.

“This is about family values,” she added.

“We are very ‘family values’ in the Kentucky General Assembly — they are all awash in Christian family values, so that’s why I put that part in there that [erectile pills] can only be used in a marital relationship,” she said.

Mazian’s House Bill 396 also requires any man seeking ED drugs to “make a sworn statement with his hand on a Bible that he will only use a prescription for a drug for erectile dysfunction when having sexual relations with his current spouse.”

LOL.

marzian

Rep. Marzian

The bill is Marzian’s response to a new law signed last week by Kentucky Gov. Matt Bevin (R) requiring abortion seekers to participate in two separate consultations with doctors, 24 hours apart, before being permitted access to the safe, legal, medical procedure they want. Hilariously dubbed the “informed consent” bill—because apparently, Kentuckians keep showing up at abortion clinics without truly understanding that they (a) are pregnant, and (b) do not wish to be—this degrading little ditty passed in January, on a vote of 92-3.

Marzian knows her bill is a non-starter, but that is precisely the point: it is just as ridiculous, wildly intrusive, condescending and patronizing (matronizing?) as its counterpart.

This is not the first time a legislator has tried a similar tactic in order to force conservatives to empathize with people who are not them; longtime Loyal Readers™ may recall our presentation of the highly coveted Major Award for Protector of Men’s Health of the Day to Ohio state senator Nina Turner in 2012; South Carolina state Rep. Mia McLeod introduced similar legislation last December, saying “I purposely tried to make it as invasive, as intrusive, as hypocritical and unnecessary as possible to make the point.”

That point, unfortunately, will be lost on conservatives, whose cavernous empathy deficit and comic narcissism are defining hallmarks of their lamentable condition.

Still, I think we need more of Marzian’s approach, not less, and I like the way she talks about it:

“I have found that men are very touchy about their sexual lives, and they think that is very personal”, Marzian said.

“I started thinking, ‘How would this body of men feel if the government was injecting [itself] into their private medical decisions,’” she added.

“My point is to illustrate how intrusive and ridiculous it is for elected officials to be inserting themselves into private and personal medical decisions,” Marzian said by telephone.

marzianspeakingRep. Marzian speaking on the Kentucky House floor:
“Keep it up, assholes. Next time, you’re getting medically unnecessary anal ultrasounds.”*

*I may be paraphrasing.

She also said she intends to put forth “a bill that would require gun buyers to get counseling from victims of gun violence,” 24 hours before purchasing a firearm. “I’m just making sure the government is taking care of your safety,” Marzian said.

Hahaha. Awesome.

WHEREFORE, the Palace is pleased to present its highly coveted Major Award for Protector of Traditional Family Values of the Day to Kentucky State Rep. Mary Lou Marzian.

Congratulations, Rep. Marzian. Long may you mock.

marzianmajoraward__________

In related news, Gov. Matt Bevin plus 92 Kentucky legislators are now residing in the Palace Abattoir. Of course we will force each of them to consult with their personal organ extraction surgeon twice, 24 hours apart, to make sure they are well informed before we begin harvesting their organs.

2 thoughts on “Major Award: Protector of Traditional Family Values of the Day.

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