A bigger pool.

My friend Tony over at The Shoops Roost is concerned that the new Palace pool just isn’t big enough to contain all of the gushing streams of hot conservative tears. At first, I considered installing a large waterfall feature to take up the extra volume. But Tony thinks I should just expand it to Olympic size:

olympicsizepoolNow that I think about it though, I figure it’s time to go big or go home. Behold the 30-acre manmade Burj Khalifa Lake in Dubai:

640px-Dubai_Fountain_from_At_The_Top_of_Burj_Khalifaphoto credit: Nealt
[Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported]

It contains the world’s largest choreographed fountain system, and can launch 22,000 gallons of water into the air simultaneously. The “extreme jets” can shoot up to 500 ft high.

640px-Dubai_Fountain_7photo credit: Nealt
[Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported]

Surrounded by speakers that play a wide range of musical fare, the Dubai fountain is lit by 6,600 lights and 25 colored projectors. A fire feature was added a few years ago.

It’s obviously a bargain at only $218 million, but before I annoy the neighbors again with the renovations, I have to ask: is it big enough?

8 thoughts on “A bigger pool.

  1. Iris, please show some restraint! Bigger isn’t always better and doing something that could be compared to something as tacky as “anything Dubai”, is unacceptable to this loyal reader. I understand the urgency and concern about how to handle the excess of tears but why not find a better, humanitarian use? You could divert the excess to our friends in California, they’re suffering from a drought and could use some relief.

    • What is this “restraint” you speak of? I am quite sure I have never heard of it.

      In any case, tears are salt water and thus cannot be used for irrigation or drinking purposes. If California needs it for fracking, well, I think you can guess the likelihood that I’ll be donating my precious pool water to that particular undertaking.

      As for tacky? Well YMMV but I fucking love this:

      And as for size, well, I’m with Tony. ;)

      • Watched the video and while an engineering marvel and a show-stopping filming sequence, just confirms my comment of tackiness and excess. Hello! They’re in the middle of a desert folks! They must and air condition their beaches! If you love this, you would have loved the opening of the new One and Only, Dubai in the middle of the global financial meltdown a few years ago when they spent $20 million on the opening night

  2. Fireworks display.

    And the size comments? Bigger isn’t always better is a line is “size challenged” guys always use!

  3. Pingback: The progressive march of pop culture | The Shoop's Roost

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