In which I become a Christian again!

As Loyal Readers™ may recall, I was born and raised a Christian—first Catholic, later Lutheran—but it never really stuck. As a young teen I came to question, then doubt, eventually disbelieve and finally loathe religion. And not just the Jeezus-flavored variety, but all of it, right down to the very mildest of lefty New Age silliness. (Except for Lord Shiva. OBVIOUSLY.) In other words I am 100% on board with Palace Patron Saint PZ Myers who put it this way:

I don’t target particular religions for bad conclusions — I detest them all for having bad methodologies.

But people, I am here to tell you: I was deceived. And very probably by Satan himself! Yes, everything I was ever taught about Jeezus was wrong, wrong, wrong. Tragically, the very nature of the Christ god and the beautiful, joyful essence of Christianity was denied me. For I have just come unto the Lord, and am eager and fully prepared to spend the rest of my days worshiping Him. Behold, the truth, the light and the way:

SEXY JESUS

sexyjesus3DEAR GOD.

sexyjesusWHO’S YOUR DADDY!

sexyjesus2JUST A MINUTE, LORD! I’M COMING!

sexyjesus5NAO I IZ DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN.

And look, He even pooped me an Easter egg! sexyjesus4OMFG IRIS JEEZUS. SO HARD.

[h/t Aly]

5 thoughts on “In which I become a Christian again!

  1. Pingback: I was hoping I wouldn’t have to do this… - Atheist Boutique

  2. That there ain’t lots a clouds, jocko… that there’s holy smoke! By Jesus, Iris’ fantasies have crossed the line!

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