Happy International Women’s Day. Or, you know, not.

Happy International Women’s Day, everyone! This important holiday traces its humble beginnings to my beloved NYC in 1909, in remembrance of the 1908 strike of the International Ladies’ Garment Workers’ Union. It was organized by the Socialist Party of America. (!!!)

angels&cowboysroseOh, I’m sorry—did I say “important holiday”? Hahaha. Must be the wine I had at brunch. You see, International Women’s Day is an official public holiday in Afghanistan, Angola, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Burkina Faso, Cambodia, China (for women only), Cuba, Georgia, Guinea-Bissau, Eritrea, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Laos, Macedonia (women only), Madagascar (women only), Moldova, Mongolia, Nepal (women only), Russia,Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, Uganda, Ukraine, Uzbekistan, Vietnam and Zambia. In Cameroon, Croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Romania and Chile, it is not an official public holiday but is widely observed anyway.

But not here! Allow me to refresh your memory on the text of the proposed Equal Rights Amendment to the US Constitution:

Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.

Proffered by the suffragist Alice Paul in 1923, it has yet to be ratified. That is to say, it is perfectly legal and constitutional to deny equality of rights under the law on account of sex. Women’s enslavement to fetuses is legal and constitutional—as are military draft registration requirements limited to men. Here is Supreme Court Justice and future unwitting viewer of my nekkid arse Antonin Scalia splainin‘:

Certainly the Constitution does not require discrimination on the basis of sex. The only issue is whether it prohibits it. It doesn’t. Nobody ever thought that that’s what it meant. Nobody ever voted for that. If the current society wants to outlaw discrimination by sex, hey we have things called legislatures, and they enact things called laws. You don’t need a constitution to keep things up-to-date. All you need is a legislature and a ballot box. You don’t like the death penalty anymore, that’s fine. You want a right to abortion? There’s nothing in the Constitution about that. But that doesn’t mean you cannot prohibit it.

There is nothing in the Constitution prohibiting people from mooning Antonin Scalia every time he leaves his house, either.

I think I’ll celebrate some international women on International Women’s Day by clicking some of these links. Followed by taking my unequal self back to the bar.

25 Women Pushing The Limits Of Street Art Around The World. Brooks, K., The Huffington Post (Nov. 2014).

5 Ancient Discoveries That Prove Modern Men Are Sexist. Kosh, W. and Harlow, K., Cracked (Mar. 2015). [Terrible and inaccurate title, but a great read. –Ed.]

5 Women Cut from Pop Culture History for Being Too Important. Sargent, J.F., Cracked (Feb. 2015).

One thought on “Happy International Women’s Day. Or, you know, not.

  1. The countries listed that celebrate International Women’s Day are certainly an interesting group, I’m embarrassed that my country isn’t among such a stellar group of progressive countries!

    My slant on so called Equal Rights, is that all groups that feel they’re not getting treated properly lost an opportunity in that we all should have banded together and fought for EQUAL RIGHTS FOR ALL. Instead, there’s group for gay rights – separate from LGBTQ, black rights, Hispanic rights, women’s rights, etc. Each having it’s own agenda and sometimes at the expense of another minority. Equal rights should mean – in my humble opinion, whether black, white, pink, green, male, female, a mix of both, “not sures”, us “confused” types, muslims, atheists, born agains. So that if a black atheist woman, who used to be a man walks into a bar in Ferguson Missouri, she should be able to order a Bud Lite without any trouble. And if she gets lucky that night and discovers she’s pregnant later, she should be able to have an abortion without any hassles.

    When’s International Men’s Day? Talk about an oppressed group!!!!!

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