The end is near!

Loyal Readers™, I am very sorry to have to break this to you, but the cephalopocalypse is finally upon us. Watch a terrifying preview of what is clearly the imminent land invasion by our intellectual and military superior, the octopus:

But Iris, you’re probably thinking, that’s just a fookin’ crab. ?

Don’t you see?! That’s what they want us to think! The truth is, they are just getting warmed up with crabs. Next up: rats, then dogs, then human infants, then farm animals, then…well, I think you get the picture. Eventually we all go the way of that crab—overwhelmed by powerful tentacles, and unceremoniously dragged down into a watery grave.

!!!

Suddenly I am very, VERY sorry that I have consumed so many of them. (So, so many!) Perhaps I can curry some personal favor by sucking up to their overlord, PZ Myers.

pzmyersenthronedPZ Myers, Cephalopod Overlord. Obviously.

Which reminds me: don’t forget to stop by the Palace for the birthday bash we throw for PZ every year on March 9. That is, if we have not all been dragged out of our beds and into the sea by then.

We will NOT be serving calamari.

This entry was posted in war by Iris Vander Pluym. Bookmark the permalink.

About Iris Vander Pluym

Iris Vander Pluym is an artist and activist in NYC (West Village), and an unapologetic, godless, feminist lefty. Raised to believe Nice Girls™ do not discuss politics, sex or religion, it turns out those are pretty much the only topics she ever wants to talk about.

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