A piece by Alana Semuels and Maria L. La Ganga in the LA Times this weekend documents the coat hanger lobby’s template in Louisiana, the same state-level strategy it has been using to successfully shutter abortion clinics across the nation, most recently and devastatingly in Texas. While the article will likely offer nothing new to Loyal Readers™ here, it does offer up a fresh slate of involuntary organ donors, i.e. those would happily force others to donate lifesaving organs without their consent. Since they feel so very strongly about this principle, it is of course only right and fair that they live (or die) by it. Just think of all the lives we will be saving by extracting a kidney and maybe some skin grafts from each of these principled Americans:
- Charmaine Yoest, president, Americans United for Life
Qualification: says of the successful state-level strategy of forced childbirth, “There wasn’t much opportunity on the federal level, so pro-life [sic] Americans said, ‘We are going to make a statement with the government that’s nearest and closest to us.'”
- Bobby Jindal, Governor of Louisiana, Republican.
Qualification: “has been so consistent in his opposition to abortion that the state is celebrated as the most ‘pro-life’ in the country by Americans United for Life.”
- Bill Shanks, anti-abortion protester and member of fundamentalist Christian group Operation Save America.
Qualification: “This is like a victory celebration. Last time we came here, there were 10 free-standing abortion clinics. One by one, they’ve crumbled.”
- Benjamin Clapper, executive director, Louisiana Right to Life Federation.
Qualification: well, he is the executive director of the Louisiana Right to Life [sic] Federation…
- Gene Mills, Christian pastor and head of the Louisiana
FamilyMisogyny Forum (founded by fellow involuntary organ donor Tony Perkins).
Qualification: publishes antiabortion scorecards on Louisiana legislators, distributes them to churches and encourages pastors to unconstitutionally speak out about elected officials in violation of their tax-exempt status: “We want to let [pastors] know that it is not the government’s right to limit your free speech even when you stand on the pulpit.”
- Katrina Jackson, Louisiana State Representative, Democrat.
Qualification: Sponsor of Louisiana’s TRAP law requiring abortion doctors to have admitting privileges at local hospitals: “I look forward to the day abortion is not legal in this country.”
- Warniesha Berry, garden variety asshole.
Qualification: “if you close them down and there is no possible way to get an abortion, you’re going to think twice about having unprotected sex.” Hahaha nope.
Everyone, and that includes our new involuntary organ donors from Louisiana, knows these things:
- Abortion bans do not stop abortions: we either have safe and legal abortions or unsafe and dangerous abortions. “No abortions” is not on the table, except perhaps under a religious, totalitarian, fascist regime—and nobody wants that. Well, nobody except religious, totalitarian fascists…
- Pregnant people die when abortion is banned.
- Abortion is 14 times safer than childbirth—and that is just fatalities.
- An estimated 1.7 million pregnant people in the U.S. yearly suffer adverse health events related to pregnancy, ranging from nausea & vomiting to severe back pain, high blood pressure, hemmorhoids, sleep disorders, mood disorders, incontinence, permanent loss of dental and bone calcium leading to cavities and osteoporosis, higher lifetime risk of developing Altzheimer’s, broken ribcage and “tail bone”, hemorrhage, gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia/eclampsia (convulsions, coma during pregnancy or labor, high risk of death), pelvic floor disorder (occurring in as many as 35% of middle-aged former child-bearers and 50% of elderly former child-bearers, associated with urinary and rectal incontinence, discomfort and reduced quality of life), seizures, fractured pelvis, infection and much, much more.
- Being denied abortions increases risks and rates of domestic violence by tethering pregnant people to violent partners.
- When people who want them are denied abortions, they are statistically more likely to wind up unemployed, on public assistance, and below the poverty line.
All of those who find themselves today unwilling participants in our groundbreaking involuntary organ donation program are well aware of these facts: these are features, not bugs, in their ideology and the laws spawned from it. Unlike our donors, we take no pleasure in enslaving and violently harming people. We do, however, take some small measure of satisfaction when justice is served fairly and equally to all people. Pregnant or not.
Welcome to the Abattoir, shitweasels.