Enclosed please find my application for employment.

Dear Catholic d00ds on the U.S. Supreme Court:

I am presently looking for work. Please see attached my highlights of the relevant qualifications that appear to be of utmost concern and interest to you in the conduct of your important day-to-day business:

iriscervix2104Iris’s cervix and vaginal walls.
May 28, 2014.

Rest assured that should you hire me, I shall continue to keep you informed of any and all developments concerning my female reproductive organs.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Sincerely,
-Iris Vander Pluym
Vagina-American

cc: Hobby Lobby Stores Inc.
Geneva College
Seneca Hardwood
WLH Enterprises
O’Brien Industrial Holding
Hercules Industries Inc.
Newlands
Weingartz Supply Company
Legatus
Triune Health Group
Hobby Lobby Stores Inc.
Mardel
Tonn and Blank Construction
Tyndale House
Autocam Corporation
Korte & Luitjohan Contractors
American Pulverizer Co.
Springfield Iron and Metal, LLC
American Pulverizer Company, Hustler Conveyor Company
City Welding
Grote Industries
Annex Medical Inc.
Sacred Heart Medical
Stuart Lind
Tom Janas
Habile Holdings
Venture North Properties
Conestoga Wood Specialties Corporation
Domino’s Farms Corporation
Sharpe Holdings Inc.
Ozark National Life Insurance Company
N.I.S. Financial Services
CNS Corporation
Sioux Chief MFG. Co.
Gilardi
Freshway Foods
Freshway Logistics
Briscoe
Continuum Health Partnership
Conessione
Reverend Gregory Hall
American Mfg Company
Lindsay, Rappaport and Postel LLC
Armstrong
Cherry Creek Mortgage Co.
Beckwith Electric Co.
Beckwith Electric Co.
Bick Holdings Inc.
Bick Properties Inc.
SEALCO LLC.
Eden Foods Inc.
Eden Foods
Mersino Management Company
Mersino Enterprises
Mersino Dewatering
Global Pump Co.
Mersino South-West.
Hartenbowers
Hart Electric LLC
H.I. Cable.
MK Chambers Company
Johnson Welded Products
Ozinga Bros. Inc.
SMA LLC
Holland Chevrolet
The QC Group Inc
Willis & Willis PLC
Trijicon Inc.
Barron Industries Inc.
Midwest Fastener Corp.
Feltl & Co. Inc.
Randy Reed Automotive
Randy Reed Buick GMC
Randy Reed Nissan
Randy Reed Chevrolet
C.W. Zumbiel, Co.
Zumbiel Packaging
Electrolock Inc.
Stone River Management Co.
Dunstone Co.
Doboszenski & Sons Inc.
Encompass Develop, Design & Construct, LLC
Hastings Automotive
Hastings Ford
Hastings Chrysler Center
Catholic Benefits Association
Catholic Insurance Company.
M&N Plastics

6 thoughts on “Enclosed please find my application for employment.

  1. Iris, putting the religious bit to one side, if I was running a company I wouldn’t like to have to pay for someone’s contraceptives. That’s a personal matter. Imagine just the embarrassment of receiving and then signing off an invoice for a packet of Frenchies!

    On the other hand the costs of an abortion in Australia are shared by individuals, their health insurer and the government’s Medicare program.

    • John,
      Contraception is used by women for a variety of health reasons. The pill is the most commonly used method of contraception, and while it is widely used to prevent pregnancy, it has other uses that women benefit from. The pill is taken for acne, endometriosis, menstrual regulation, and menstrual pain. [1]
      These are all women’s health issues, ergo, the need for health insurance. If you were running a company, would you have a problem paying for other health issues? If a woman needs a breast exam, do you not want to pay for that? What if she develops a skin rash and needs treatment? Are you opposed to paying for that? There are a many different health issues that people need health insurance for, so I hope you’re being consistent and not wanting to pay for any of that. Or are you just trying to carve out an exception to contraception? If so, on what grounds? Also, do you oppose paying for just women’s contraception or men’s as well?

      [1]http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/fb_contr_use.html

  2. John:

    Seconding everything Tony said. Also:

    I was running a company I wouldn’t like to have to pay for someone’s contraceptives. That’s a personal matter. Imagine just the embarrassment of receiving and then signing off an invoice for a packet of Frenchies!

    That is not how our fucked-up healthcare non-system works. Employer-based insurance is part of the pay package and benefits earned by employees: the only thing the employer ever signs off on is a check to an insurance company for the company’s share of the premiums (typically employees also pay a portion of the premiums themselves). Then, completely independently, employees can go to in-network doctors and pharmacies for a co-pay, the details of which vary based on the plan the employer has contracted with the insurance company. There is never any exchange of products or information about who used what services between insurance companies and employers, much less any scenario where a boss is signing off on an invoice for contraceptives.

    Hobby Lobby’s objection was that they sincerely believe (totally incorrectly) that certain types of contraception such as IUDs or pills cause abortions, and because they are stupid shitweasels who object to abortions, they don’t want their share of the premium money to be somehow tainted by the possibly that it pays for women’s health care they don’t personally approve of, and yet would never even know about. It’s like a company saying “okay, you earned your three weeks paid vacation—but you can’t use it to travel to any place we don’t approve of.”

    Incidentally, Medicaid (our govt. single-payer insurance for the poor) does not pay for abortions except in rape, incest and life-threatening cases.

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