The Perry Street Palace Zoo is pleased to announce its very latest acquisition: Chloe, a young female red-bearded titi monkey (Callicebus caquetensis; Order: primate). Chloe joins Joe the Fennec Fox (Vulpes zerda), Zoe the Zonkey (zebriod) along with her parents Zandra, a donkey mare, and Zandra’s partner Zeke the Zebra stallion, as well as Moe the Giant Golden-crowned Flying Fox (Acerodon jubatus), and of course Dick, Condi, Dubya, Barack, Sarah, Hillary and Donald—the world’s premiere collection of Conservatives (Boobus Americanus)—in our Mammals wing.
RED-BEARDED TITI MONKEY (Callicebus caquetensis; Order: primate)
First described in 2010 (pdf), C. caquetensis is found only in the forests of the Caquetá region of Colombia’s Amazon basin. These are similar to other titi monkeys in many respects: for example, all 13 groups studied by the researchers consisted of a monogamous, bonded pair of adults and between one and four immature offspring (the pairs raise about one baby per year); after weaning, their diets consist primarily of fruit, with leaves the second most important food item and seeds only occasionally. Red-bearded titi monkeys are about the size of domesticated cats (Felis catus).
But their most unusual feature is also their most adorable. According to the lead researcher, primatologist Thomas Defler, baby red-bearded titi monkeys purr like kitties:
“All of the babies purr like cats too,” Defler added. “When they feel very content they purr towards each other, and the ones we raised would purr to us.”
Defler says the monkeys also engage in “space saving” behaviors, wherein they encourage another monkey to get closer to them.
Baby pictures of Chloe:
C. caquetensis is critically endangered due to habitat destruction and fragmentation by the agricultural activity of a particularly invasive primate species (homo sapiens). Reaching new nearby forest fragments is extremely dangerous and next to impossible for the little monkeys, as they must cross open savanna—or barbed wire. Defler and the other researchers first describing C. caquetensis estimate the population size may be fewer than 250 adult animals, whereas a healthy population should number in the thousands. The species presently has a geographic range of about 100 square kilometers (39 sq mi) and actually occupies only about 10 square kilometers (3.9 sq mi) within that range.
-2 shots unsweetened Colombian aguardiente (eau-de-vie)
-juice of one half lemon
-1 tablespoon brown sugar
-5 red grapes
-½ kiwi, cubed
Place all ingredients except aguardiente in a glass. Mash fruit until completely softened. Add the aguardiente and mix thoroughly. Top each drink with 3-4 ice cubes and kiwi garnish.
Again: an important public safety reminder should you visit the Mammals wing:
KEEP YOUR DISTANCE FROM THE CONSERVATIVES.
THESE ANIMALS ARE EXTREMELY ADEPT
AT MASKING THEIR DECEITFUL,
AGGRESSIVE AND VICIOUS NATURE
(PARTICULARLY THE DEMOCRATS).
DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES
ALLOW THEM ACCESS TO ANY ITEM
THAT CAN BE USED AS A WEAPON—
THEY WILL ALMOST CERTAINLY DEPLOY IT.
The Palace Zoo staff have enough trouble already with the flying flag pin projectiles. Helmets, eye protection and full body armor are strongly recommended in this area.
We appreciate your cooperation.