A commonsense foreign policy proposal (via The Onion):
Poll: Majority Of Americans Approve Of Sending Congress To Syria.
The New York Times/CBS News poll showed that though just 1 in 4 Americans believe that the United States has a responsibility to intervene in the Syrian conflict, more than 90 percent of the public is convinced that putting all 535 representatives of the United States Congress on the ground in Syria—including Senate pro tempore Patrick Leahy, House Speaker John Boehner, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, and, in fact, all current members of the House and Senate—is the best course of action at this time.
In fact, 91 percent of those surveyed agreed that the active use of sarin gas attacks by the Syrian government would, if anything, only increase poll respondents’ desire to send Congress to Syria.
When asked if they believe that Sen. Rand Paul should be deployed to Syria, 100 percent of respondents said yes.
“There’s no doubt in my mind that sending Congress to Syria—or, at the very least, sending the major congressional leaders in both parties—is the correct course of action,” survey respondent and Iraq war veteran Maj. Gen. John Mill said, noting that his opinion was informed by four tours of duty in which he saw dozens of close friends sustain physical as well as emotional injury and post-traumatic stress. “There is a clear solution to our problems staring us right in the face here, and we need to take action.”
The Palace would like to point out a fatal flaw, and suggest a slight amendment to perfect this proposal.
The flaw: the Obama administration would love nothing more that to drone bomb Congress (in Syria or, frankly, anywhere else) and finally realize Dick Cheney’s dream of the Imperial Presidency.
The amendment: With the exception of the Commander-In-Chief, deploy everyone associated with the present administration and the prior administration to Syria. Also: Joe Lieberman, Rick Santorum, both Clintons, the Koch Brothers and Newt Gingrich, just for
fun good measure.
Problem solved. You’re welcome, America!