In case you missed it, Wikipedia’s featured article yesterday was about the Icelandic Phallological Museum in Reykjavík. I have long wanted to visit Iceland. But a museum that houses the world’s largest collection of penises? This totally seals the deal.
The museum’s aim is to obtain penis specimens from every mammal in Iceland, including humans. So far, the collection contains 280 specimens from 93 species. It finally obtained its first human penis in July 2011. Unfortunately, things did not quite work out as originally envisioned:
Its detachment from the donor’s body did not go according to plan and it was reduced to a greyish-brown shrivelled mass pickled in a jar of formalin. The museum continues to search for “a younger and a bigger and better one.”
If you are wondering exactly what sort of person would donate his penis to the Icelandic Phallological Museum, there are currently four, including the Icelandic owner of the aforementioned greyish-brown shriveled mass. A purported womanizer in his younger days, he donated his penis to the museum to ensure his “eternal fame.” When he died at the ripe old age of 95 he was said to still be active, “both vertically and horizontally.”
Then there’s an American d00d:
Canadian film-maker Zach Math comments that the American “is an ordinary guy but he has this quirk where he thinks of his penis as a separate entity from his body — Elmo. He has this dream that he wants it to be the most famous penis in the world.” According to [the museum’s owner], the American donor “wanted to have his penis cut off even during his lifetime and then visit the museum.” The American sent a cast of his penis to serve as a substitute in the meantime, along with photographs of it dressed up as Santa Claus and Abraham Lincoln. The donor also tattooed his penis with the Stars and Stripes to make it look more attractive.
There is also a German donor and a Brit, but the Wiki article doesn’t tell us anything about them.
The largest penis in the collection is that of a blue whale: it measures 67 inches (170 cm) in length and weighs 150 lbs. (70 kg). If you think that’s impressive, consider that the specimen is only the tip of the whale boner. When it was intact it would have been about 16 feet (5 m) long and weighed about 770–990 lbs. (350–450 kilograms). The Iceland Review dubbed it “a real Moby Dick”. Hahaha.
The smallest penis in the collection at only 0.08 inches (2 mm) long belonged to a hamster. A magnifying glass is required to see it. I’m guessing it probably looks something like this: –
Iris can haz peenis muzeeum nao plz?