Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome all nineteen new House Republican committee chairs! Yes, after much conscientious consideration about the need to appeal to women and minorities, the Republican Party has spoken! These are the singularly qualified humans in charge of the People’s House:
Notice anything…odd? Anything odd at all? I mean besides the fact that Paul Ryan has a face only his own mother would not want to smack. Actually, I would not presume to speak for her. If she’s counting on Social Security and Medicare, she may well want to violently assault him, too.
If you guessed “bad haircuts,” you are 100% correct!
Here, have a cookie.