Alternate realities.

This morning Lloyd Blankfein, Chairman and CEO of Goldman Sachs and Chief Spokesdoucheweasel for America’s Owners, offers us an instructive lesson on the depths of narcissistic delusion engendered by Conservative Personality Disorder.  Writing in the Wall Street Journal, poor Lloyd opines:

Relations between the Obama administration and large segments of the business community have been strained and unproductive. But the election offers an important opportunity to forge a more productive relationship…A spirit of compromise and reconciliation would do wonders for the economy if government and business resolved together to address the following priorities…[Simpson-Bowles austerity, low taxes, frack-baby-frack, blah blah blah]

Incredible as it may seem, this Master of the Universe never got this memo:

Anti-Business’ Obama Is Best President
For Corporate Profits Since 1900

President Obama is far and away the best president for corporate profits since 1900:

Even if corporate profits under Obama are compared to the 2008 peak — in order to erase the effect of the financial crisis — “average annual corporate profit growth under President Obama is 6.8%,” or nearly three times as large as it was under President Reagan. Both Presidents Bush actually oversaw corporate profit declines during their terms. Meanwhile, real GDP growth per capita is far higher under Obama than it was under either Bush administration.

Then there’s some jackass I never heard of in USA Today seriously asking:

So what will it take for Obama to get back in Wall Street’s good graces?

Hahaha.  As if should anyone should give the slightest shit.  Shockingly, his list is an awful lot like poor Lloyd’s: blah blah blah entitlement reform, deregulation, low taxes for the wealthy, blah blah blah…

Yawn.

The business community should be blowing the president.  But no.  They are squealing and whining like spoiled toddlers.

But this has got to be my favorite:  some other d00d I never heard of writes in the Chicago Sun-Times:

Obama needs to step up and make nice with Republicans

Preventing $500 billion in tax increases and $1.2 trillion in spending cuts from pushing the nation over the “fiscal cliff” into the abyss of another recession will require President Barack Obama to do something he never showed any inclination to do in his first term: forge a working relationship with Republicans and be willing to compromise.

As if the entire country did not just witness four years of congressional Republican intransigence and obstructionism, while Barack Obama was unconscionably offering them everything they said they wanted on a silver platter.  Instead of jobs bills, they passed abortion restrictions.  They damn near destroyed the country playing chicken with the debt ceiling.  Apparently none of that ever happened, and the problem is that Obama didn’t step up and make nice with these people.

You know, I’d like to live in a fantasy world, too.  Where there are no conservatives.  Lots of sparkleponies, though.

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