The Palace received an urgent missive today from our good friend Jason Rosenbaum, Director of Online Communications at DSCC:
From: Jason Rosenbaum <email@example.com>
Subject: your record
Date: June 24, 2012 6:44:21 AM PDT
To: Iris Vander Pluym<firstname.lastname@example.org>
Our team is reviewing supporter records this weekend, and I noticed that you haven’t made an online donation yet. (I pasted your supporter record below):
Supporter record: xxxxxxx
Name: Vander Pluym, Iris
2012 online support: pending
Sounds about right, Jason.
Suggested support: $5.00
Seems like you went to an awful lot of trouble to write me this email and copy and paste my “record” into it for five dollars. I mean, if it were me, I’d have said to hell with it and just ponied up the five bucks myself.
In June, Rove and the Koch Brothers have spent $6 million attacking us in battleground states. And now President Obama and Mitt Romney are tied. Elizabeth Warren and Scott Brown are tied. A dozen Senate races across the country are polling in single digits.
Gosh, I wonder why that is? I sure hope it’s not because of my missing five dollars! How could I live with myself?
After the FEC deadline 6 days from now, one question will be asked: Do the Democrats have enough money to overcome Rove and Koch’s SuperPAC spending?
Well, actually a lot of questions will be asked. Questions like: how many disingenuous emails has the DSCC sent us this week?
If we don’t hit our $1.4 million dollar goal that answer will be no, leaving us unable to prevent a GOP takeover of the White House and Senate.
Wait — I thought you said Rove and the Koch brothers spent $6 million in June. I don’t think $1.4 million is really going to make much of a difference, do you? You might want to check your math there, Jason.
But with enough $5 and $10 contributions we can beat Rove, Koch and Adelson. In fact, that’s the only way we can beat them.
Well, then I guess you’re well and truly fucked.
If everyone who has yet to give would click here and chip in $5 right now, we’ll get there.
I have a better idea. Why don’t you send the same email to the insurance companies your health care “reform” law directly benefits? And the banker criminals who won’t ever be prosecuted? How about all the war criminals in the last administration? I’m sure they all think of the Democrats quite fondly, and they have lots of money. Except — and this is key, Jason — instead of $5, the “suggested support” should be $5 million. While you’re at it, maybe Big Energy could be persuaded to kick back a few million of their taxpayer subsidies?
Falling short means that on July 1, President Obama, Elizabeth Warren, and Sherrod Brown will be buried under millions of dollars in negative ads. I can’t overemphasize how much we need your help right now: http://dscc.org/donatenow
Thanks so much for your help.
DSCC Director of Online Communications
Here’s the thing, Jason: I’d be more than happy to donate to DSCC if Democrats on the whole fought for and protected the interests and issues that are important to me and the wellbeing of my fellow citizens, instead of running around like wanna-be Republicans. I might even chip in more than five dollars! But until that happy day, you’ll just have to get your money from the constituencies you actually serve.