Taibbi on Bank of America.

Over the weekend I read Matt Taibbi’s latest in Rolling Stone entitled Bank of America: Too Crooked to Fail.  The whole thing is well worth reading, but if you read nothing else, the gist can be gleaned from these two paragraphs:

They’re in deep trouble, but they won’t die, because our current president, like the last one, apparently believes it’s better to project a false image of financial soundness than to allow one of our oligarchic banks to collapse under the weight of its own corruption. Last year, the Federal Reserve allowed Bank of America to move a huge portfolio of dangerous bets into a side of the company that happens to be FDIC-insured, putting all of us on the hook for as much as $55 trillion in irresponsible gambles. Then, in February, the Justice Department’s so-called foreclosure settlement, which will supposedly provide $26 billion in relief for ripped-off homeowners, actually rewarded the bank with a legal waiver that will allow it to escape untold billions in lawsuits. And this month the Fed will release the results of its annual stress test, in which the bank will once again be permitted to perpetuate its fiction of solvency by grossly overrating the mountains of toxic loans on its books. At this point, the rescue effort is so sweeping and elaborate that it goes far beyond simply gouging the tax dollars of millions of struggling families, many of whom have already been ripped off by the bank – it’s making the government, and by extension all of us, full-blown accomplices to the fraud.

Anyone who wants to know what the Occupy Wall Street protests are all about need only look at the way Bank of America does business. It comes down to this: These guys are some of the very biggest assholes on Earth. They lie, cheat and steal as reflexively as addicts, they laugh at people who are suffering and don’t have money, they pay themselves huge salaries with money stolen from old people and taxpayers – and on top of it all, they completely suck at banking. And yet the state won’t let them go out of business, no matter how much they deserve it, and it won’t slap them in jail, no matter what crimes they commit. That makes them not bankers or capitalists, but a class of person that was never supposed to exist in America: royalty.

I wish to highlight three points:

  1. Taxpayers are now potentially on the hook for $55 trillion, at the mercy of the biggest @$$holes on Earth, who completely suck at banking — and who own our government.
  2. There is a rather well-known cure for the disease called “royalty.”  It comprises pitchforks.*
  3. People who do not know what the Occupy Wall Street protests are about need only get their heads out of their asses.

Have a great day.

* The Palace does not advocate violence under any circumstances, except in the context of self-defense.  We merely refer to a rather obvious historical fact:  “royalty” are inherently anti-democratic, inevitably corrupt, and utterly unaccountable.  They will sooner or later (sooner) abuse their power to the point where economies crash and citizens resort to violent revolt.

No, seriously:  Have a really, really great day.

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