Petitionpalooza.

We have signed not one, not two, but three Internet petitions today: one we signed because it has an excellent chance of accomplishing what it sets out to do, the second because it is so darkly amusing to contemplate, and the third because RAGE.

First up is CREDO Action’s petition to pressure the remaining few advertisers on the Rush Limbaugh show to drop him like a hot potato and to keep up the pressure on other advertisers who have only committed to “suspending” their ad campaigns on his show.  That massive whooshing you heard was the sound of dozens of advertisers fleeing as fast and as far away from Limbaugh as they could get, and there is no question that this was a direct result of consumer activism.  CREDO has 444,000 signatures, and would like to get that number up to a cool half million in order to turn up the heat on the stragglers.  Shockingly enough, it turns out that when an advertiser pays for radio spots, it is generally for the express purpose of generating business as opposed to driving it away.  This is a clear cut example of people power working for good:

Over 140 companies1 have pulled their advertising dollars from the Rush Limbaugh show. In fact the national advertising exodus has been so devastating, that Rush Limbaugh has had to resort to filling his advertising slots with free public service announcements and even minutes of dead air at some points.

And just yesterday, Premiere Networks, the subsidiary of Clear Channel that distributes the show, told local affiliates it was pausing national ads for two weeks, though they were free to air ads from two companies remaining loyal to Rush Limbaugh: Lifelock and Lear Financial.

Rush Limbaugh is clearly feeling the pressure of our activism, and the emails we have received from major companies like Geico and Netflix after receiving petitions with your signature show that your activism truly does work. Both companies have instructed their advertising companies to ensure that their ads do not air on the Rush Limbaugh Show in the future.

Don’t feel too sorry for Rush, though — he’s worth a mint.  And we are so looking forward to his forthcoming book detailing his Christ-like suffering and innocent victimhood at the hands of the fearsome feminazis.  Do feel free to pile on if you are so inclined.

The second is a petition for a Personhood Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, to be submitted to potential supporters Senators Patty Murray, Al Franken, and Kristen Gillibrand to ask them to introduce it to Congress.  No, it’s not like those “personhood amendments” declaring any fertilized egg to be deemed a U.S. citizen with a concealed handgun carry permit or whatever the fuck those dumbasses are up to in the state legislatures.  This Personhood Amendment is directed at — get this! — the rights of “a person identifying as a woman and/or having a uterus,” and therefore it has virtually no chance of ever passing.  But it is nevertheless wildly entertaining to imagine the spectacle of Congress openly debating whether women are, in fact, people.  Is it not?  Here’s the proposed Amendment:

“A person identifying as a woman and/or having a uterus shall retain all of the full, basic, and fundamental rights of a US citizen as promised by the Declaration of Independence—life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Congress and the States shall make no law that infringes upon a person’s life, including but not limited to access to life-saving or life-improving healthcare, and/or medicines and procedures deemed necessary or beneficial by a medical professional and/or by the person having the uterus, procurement of which shall not be denied in and of itself by the presence of a uterus. Congress and the States shall make no law that infringes upon a person’s liberty, including but not limited to autonomy over hir own body and the ability to make decisions regarding hir own healthcare. Congress and the States shall make no law that interferes with a person’s pursuit of happiness, including but not limited to access to a full spectrum of reproductive options, freedom from forcible reproduction, and the ability to make decisions regarding family planning and family resources.”

Sign on if, like me, you would absolutely love to watch Theatre of the Absurd on C-SPAN as lawmakers fiercely debate who owns my uterus!

Finally, via a missive from change.org we have a tale from Florida that makes me ashamed to be a human being:

Dear Iris,

Heartbreaking tragedy: 17-year-old Trayvon Martin was visiting a relative’s house in a Florida gated community when he walked to the store to get Skittles and iced tea for his little brother. He never made it home. Trayvon Martin was shot and killed by a self-styled neighborhood watch leader, who told police he thought Trayvon was “suspicious” in the mostly-white community.

Unbelievable twist: A man named George Zimmerman allegedly admitted to police that he shot Trayvon Martin in the chest. Zimmerman claims he acted in self defense, even though police allegedly told him not to do anything until they arrived — and despite the fact that Trayvon was unarmed, carrying only a bag of Skittles when he died. In the two weeks since Zimmerman allegedly killed Trayvon, police have refused to arrest the confessed killer.

Hope for justice: Sybrina Fulton is Trayvon’s mother, and she’s leading a campaign on Change.org to get justice for her son. Tracy knows that if enough people raise an outcry, Sanford, Florida authorities will be forced to investigate Zimmerman the same way they would investigate any confessed killer.

Sign Sybrina’s petition calling on the authorities in Florida to charge George Zimmerman for the killing of Trayvon Martin and try him before a jury of his peers.

From Sybrina Fulton’s letter we also learn:

When Zimmerman reported Trayvon to the police, they told him not to confront him. But he did anyway. All I know about what happened next is that my 17 year-old son, who was completely unarmed, was shot and killed.

I don’t know if my family will ever receive justice for this terrible tragedy. It’s been nearly two weeks and the Sanford Police have refused to arrest George Zimmerman. In their public statements, they even go so far as to stand up for the killer – saying he’s “a college grad” who took a class in criminal justice.

Please join me in calling on the the Sanford Police Department and Florida State’s Attorney Norman Wolfinger to investigate my son’s death and prosecute George Zimmerman for the shooting and killing of Trayvon Martin.

Please sign the petition if you are so inclined.  There is no telling whether it will lead to the criminal prosecution of a murderer, but it certainly cannot hurt.  At a minimum, doing so will let a grieving mother know there are citizens who care deeply about her unfathomable loss and are outraged by the inaction of the Sanford Police.

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