Major Award: Headline of the day.

I know it’s still early, but I am 99.99% sure I that am not going to see anything better than this all day:

Dick Cheney cancels Toronto trip, says Canada is too dangerous

Hahaha.  My first thought was that the International Criminal Court had finally indicted the motherfucker for crimes against humanity, and my heart soared.  But alas, no.  Still, it does reflect rather well on Canada that Dick Chickenhawk is afraid to go there:

TORONTO — Former U.S. vice-president Dick Cheney has cancelled an April appearance in Toronto citing concerns Canada is too dangerous.

“He felt that in Canada the risk of violent protest was simply too high,” said Ryan Ruppert, president of promotions company Spectre Live Corp., which had booked Mr. Cheney for an April 24 appearance at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre.

In September, Mr. Cheney was speaking at a private club in Vancouver when protesters massed outside the front door harassing ticket holders and in one instance, choking a security guard. The former vice-president was reportedly held inside the building for more than seven hours as Vancouver Police in riot gear dispersed the demonstrators.

“God forbid there was ever an emergency,” said Ruppert, noting Cheney’s history of heart problems.

God forbid?  Dick Cheney is living proof that there are no gods.

You keep this up, Canada, and you might someday win the highly coveted Perry Street Palace Major Award for Country of the Day!

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