We’re totally shopping at JC Penney from now on.

I don’t watch Ellen DeGeneres, mainly because I don’t watch much TV.  But even if I did I doubt her show would interest me more than, say, that adorable hottie Brian Cox‘s show on the Science Channel.  But someone sent me a link to a clip from Ellen’s show, and after watching it I just want to say:

1.  Ellen is awesome.  Sure, her persona is very polished and she’s a slick entertainer, but I can’t help sensing that her down-to-earth, good-hearted schtick is genuinely rooted in her personality.  She has taken tremendously brave personal and professional risks in her life and career, for that I respect and applaud her.

2.  JC Penney is apparently also awesome.  Watch:

 

Okay, full disclosure.  Honestly, we are probably not going to be shopping at JC Penney any time soon, because (a) we are insufferable, unbearable snobs who hate all of their clothes and shoes, (b) we reject polyester blend sheets on religious grounds, and (c)  it’s at the Manhattan Mall, and for exactly the same reasons we avoid the suburbs, we never, ever go to the Manhattan Mall if it can possibly be avoided.  However, we can definitely see spending a few bucks at JCPenney.com.  There must be something there that I would buy, right?

RIGHT?

Despite what you may have presumed from our opulent digs and glamorous lifestyle, the Palace simply does not have the resources to make up for every conservative asshole who boycotts JC Penney over their hiring of a lovely, smart, successful, popular, brave, strong, gay woman as their spokesperson.  But we are always happy to do our part.

What about this lamp, huh?  I’ve been thinking of redecorating the Palace Bedroom in the classic Victorian Whorehouse style, and I really think this lamp could work nicely!

No?

Okay, how about this for the Palace Kitchen:  a framed print of a deranged, knife-wielding tomato?

Truly the stuff of nightmares.

Yeah, I’m not really feeling it.  Something’s…off.  Maybe it’s that shade of red.

Ooh!  Ooh!  I know:  Mr. Bubble panties!

(Mr. Bubble? Srsly?)

I’m sure I can find something…I think…

[h/t SJ]

One thought on “We’re totally shopping at JC Penney from now on.

  1. First they went after Schweddy Balls (Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavor based on the SNL skit with Alec Baldwin as Pete Schweddy) and now Ellen and JCPenney. Ironically, their membership is in the low 40 thousands, a far cry from the “one million” in their name. Yet another in a long line of small CPD’er groups trying to force their warped religious and social beliefs on the rest of us under the guise of “family values”. Go Ellen!

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