UPDATE: Behold, the power of the backlash — and the Internet.

As soon as I published my last post, a new missive appeared in the Palace mailbox linking to a story at WaPo:

Komen revises funding policy

The Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure Foundation Friday announced it would revise a controversial new policy that barred the organization from funding Planned Parenthood.

The foundation said that Planned Parenthood would now be eligible to apply for grants. It did not, however, address other reasons Komen has cited for why it might choose not to approve such grants.

“Our original desire was to fulfill our fiduciary duty to our donors by not funding grant applications made by organizations under investigation,” a Friday statement said. “ We will amend the criteria to make clear that disqualifying investigations must be criminal and conclusive in nature and not political. That is what is right and fair.”

“We will continue to fund existing grants, including those of Planned Parenthood, and preserve their eligibility to apply for future grants, while maintaining the ability of our affiliates to make funding decisions that meet the needs of their communities,” the statement continues.

Rest assured, the Forced Birth Brigades will regroup, and there will be a backlash to the backlash.  ‘Twas ever thus.  But today is a very sad day for the Coathanger Lobby.  I am not shedding any tears.


2 thoughts on “UPDATE: Behold, the power of the backlash — and the Internet.

  1. I think their press release may have been misworded; here’s what I believe they meant to say:

    “Our original desire was to stroke on the shriveled cocks of our conservative puppeteers by slapping around Planned Parenthood and the women they treat, and we intentionally did so at a time when we thought no one would possibly notice. Thanks to a bunch of whiny-ass liberals, however, the news got out, and overnight the once-respected Komen brand finds itself sinking faster than the Costa Concordia, and that’s going to make it difficult for us to convince manufacturers to slap a layer of Pepto-Pink on everything from firearms to Darth Vader piggy banks to lollipops to who the fuck knows what, and that in turn will make it harder for us to keep paying our army of lawyers who are kept busy threatening to sue any person or charity that dares to use the color pink on a product, or the words “for the cure” as a fundraising slogan. For this reason, we’re going to try a PR fix by pretending to be sane and considerate, when in reality we’re merely giving ourselves some breathing room while we come up with another way to fulfill our destiny by ridding the world of that evil, Satanic Planned Parenthood and the evil, Satanic sluts who go there. We will therefore amend the criteria to make clear that disqualifying investigations must be criminal and conclusive in nature and not political, at least until we find another less transparent way to fuck Planned parenthood in the ass.

    “P.S. – If we had really been serious when we told you that we were withholding funds to organizations under investigation, don’t you dumbasses think we would have skipped the $7.5 million grant to Penn State?”

    Way too fucking little, and far too fucking late.

  2. Well, Jim – and I think I speak for everyone here – your press release writing skills are absolutely superb. I suspect that after a week of one PR disaster after another, Komen will be surely looking to replace most if not all of their PR department, and your submission here is certain to guarantee that your resume lands at the very top of the pile.

    Good luck at the interview! And don’t forget to wear a pink tie.

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