WordPress provides its bloggers with various interesting factoids, among them the specific search terms that lead people to click on the site. Top search terms this past week include perennial favorite “cake man raven red velvet cake recipe” (because yum), as well as an entirely new one: “dildo insertation.” Of course I could not help but wonder whether “insertation” is something (a) wildly different from “insertion,” and (b) awesome, so I took to the Internet to find out. Google served up some hits, but there is little to nothing enlightening or even particularly comprehensible in the top results. (Google also inquired whether I meant “insertion.” No, Google! I did not!) Urban Dictionary pretended to offer something in the Google results, but when I clicked the link I was dismayed to learn that “insertation isn’t defined yet.” I fared no better at dictionary.com, which impudently demanded to know whether I in fact meant “insectation.”* Now crestfallen, I am left to wonder whether or not “insertation” is some seriously kinky sex act involving a dildo that has not yet gone mainstream. Or, you know, whether it’s just the way a bunch of dumbass conservatives spell “insertion” while furtively indulging their shameful** longings on the Internet. If that is indeed the case, all I can say is boy, won’t they be disappointed when they find themselves at the Palace. Sorry, conservative dildo insertators! (Not really!)
Speaking of the Palace, I have been working on a redesign of the blog, complete with a colorful new banner. I am not exactly sure why, but I now feel the shot of the iconic Richard Meier Towers at the West end of Perry Street, on a minimalist wood background with soothing colors, does not suit the content here. When I started blogging in September 2010, I was somewhat apprehensive about stepping into the virtual world in this manner (could I write? would I like it? would I stick to it? would anyone read it? — questions that have all happily been answered in the affirmative), and I suspect that my initial timidity was reflected in the image I chose to use. And while the banner does indeed reflect the serenity and minimalist style I prefer in my surroundings at home, it does not come close to capturing the essence of Perry Street, the buzzing West Village, or the riotous color of New York City streets. I’d like to think my writing, as it has evolved here, is more like the colorful world right outside my door than the zen cocoon I retreat to. YMMV, of course. In any event, the new banner is a composite of images snapped with my trusty iPhone as I walked from one end of Perry Street to the other, and it will be up as soon as I find the time to finish it and make some other cosmetic tweaks to the blog. (I.e., don’t hold your breath.)
Finally: when people ask me what I blog about I have trouble giving a concise answer, one that is targeted to the audience doing the asking. If it’s a conservative I’ve just met, say, or a devout Christian, I try to give a measured but accurate reply, depending on the context of the conversation. For instance, I might say, “Oh, I’m one of those godless feminist liberals you hear so much about.” The conversation usually moves on to something less controversial, which is fine by me. (If they take the bait, however, I bite back — hard.) To a friendlier inquisitor I recently quipped, “It’s mainly about politics, religion and sex — you know, the three subjects you’re never supposed to talk about. But it turns out those are pretty much the only subjects I ever want to talk about.”
Longtime loyal readers may come to the same startling realization that I did, as soon as I said it: I don’t write nearly enough about sex. Sure, I occasionally post on LGBTQI issues, and I will not hesitate to delve into some aspect of sex or sexuality if it’s pertinent to what I’m writing (reproductive rights, health care, abortion, feminism, etc.). But how can I ever expect to mock and ridicule conservatives effectively if I do not tread on this territory regularly and loudly? Now, I have absolutely no desire to post on the subject of sex in order to appeal to anyone’s prurient interests: those seeking graphic video of dildo insertations are bound to be disappointed. But it is clear to me that what animates much of social conservatism springs directly from some seriously unhealthy, fucked-up views about sex and sexuality, and that this must not go unmocked. In addition, the Palace is obviously in the business of providing helpful, timely public service messages — see, for example, our world-renowned monitoring program tracking the flaming space debris hurtling to Earth — and we feel quite strongly that providing factual information about sex and sexuality is a worthy public service. (And factual information about sex and sexuality makes conservatives apoplectic, so it’s just full of win.) The Wingnut War on Fucking isn’t going to implode all by itself, people. So, we shall henceforth endeavor to provide readers with resources such as this one:
Safe Sex. Coalition for Positive Sexuality (CPS), a not-for-profit organization providing teens with candid sex education materials.
Fuck you, conservatives.
* Yes, I had to know: Insectation turns out to be a truly awesome word:
In`sec*ta”tion\, n. [L. insectatio. See Insectator.] The act of pursuing; pursuit; harassment; persecution. [Obs.] –Sir T. More.
In`sec*ta”tor\, n. [L., fr. insectari to pursue, freq. fr. insequi. See Ensue.] A pursuer; a persecutor; a censorious critic.
** There is nothing shameful about inserting a dildo into any of the orifices for which it is designed, provided all parties thereto are enthusiastically consenting adults. There may in fact be something shameful about insertating a dildo, but unfortunately at present we do not have all of the information necessary to assess this claim. If and when the Palace makes such a determination, we will promptly post it under our shiny new “sex & sexuality” category.