And now for a little Sunday sacrilege.

PZ used to run a semi-regular Sunday Sacrilege post.  I looked forward to it with great anticipation every week, usually because one or more godbots (or “flock,” as I believe they prefer to be called) had done something so unfathomably stupid or unspeakably evil (or both) that I could hardly wait until someone took the metaphorical skewer to their skulls.  Justice simply demanded it.  And nobody skewers like PZ.  For whatever reason he hasn’t run a Sunday Sacrilege post in a very long time — and obviously I cannot be arsed to pick up the slack.  Nuh-uh.  And of course the godbot assaults on all that is Good and Right at the Palace continue apace.

Take last night.  I found myself at a very nice bar, and the Denver-New England game was on TV.   I had just read a piece by Gary Kamiya at Salon about Tim Tebow, entitled NFL pregame question: Does God exist?  (Full disclosure:  I don’t follow football at all — I hate it almost as much as I hate boxing — but even I am aware of what a remarkable athlete and devout Christian this Tebow d00d is.)  The article is about football, but I was interested in the god angle:

Pascal’s argument went something like this: Man cannot know for sure whether or not God exists, but he has nothing to lose and everything to gain if God does exist, so he should “bet on God.”

It wasn’t exactly the most overpowering argument for the existence of a supreme being ever made [gee, you think? -Ed.], but it is one that millions of atheists, agnostics and other non-believers have been forced to take seriously since Tim Tebow pulled on a Denver Broncos’ uniform.

The devout Mr. Tebow has been the worst thing to hit non-believers since the Spanish Inquisition.

Kamiya’s not really serious here; I doubt he thinks any atheist or agnostic would put “Tim Tebow’s existence” in the plus column for “evidence of a deity.”  How would that even go?  Like this?

  • An athlete with extraordinary abilities exists.
  • Said athlete publicly attributes said abilities to faith in some particular god or other.
  • Therefore, the particular god exists, and those heathens who dared to disbelieve are now inclined to take the god explanation seriously.

Yeah, no.  If Tim Tebow had levitated 25 feet in the air over New England’s defense and personally flew the ball into the end zone, I would still doubt there was any supernatural explanation for it.  It would literally be a trillion times more likely that he had a jet pack stuffed up his ass or something.

But as it turns out, believers see it differently.  This makes perfect sense to them:

  • Tim Tebow is awesome!
  • Therefore, Jeezus!

And it gets worse:  during the game, the odious Focus on the Family Patriarchy ran a commercial “inspired by” Tebow.  In the clip, a bunch of cute little kids recite the biblical verse John 3:16, because — get this — Tebow threw 316 yards during last week’s win against the Steelers, and he set an NFL record with an average of 31.6 yards.  (No word on whether he spelled out the letters “J-O-H-N” on the field during his running plays.)  It’s bad enough that adults buy into this nonsense, but indoctrinating little kids really pisses me off.  Plus they are creepy, in the way kids are especially creepy in horror movies.  They look so adorable, and then OMFG they turn into scary monsters as bad as those assholes at Focus on the Family Patriarchy.  Here’s the commercial:

And then this morning, that damn church across the street began banging its bell at 8:30am.  There is no excuse for this — none.  It was one thing when the only way to tell time in your entire town was by church bells.  Nowadays it’s nearly impossible for anyone not to know what time it is.  UNLESS THEY’RE SLEEPING.  Hey, bell clangers:  some people have hangovers on Sunday mornings — HELLO?

I vowed to do a Sunday Sacrilege post today, and here it is.  It consists of just two simple questions, ones that others have posed in reference to this god character:

First, why won’t god heal amputees?

Second, Q: If god did exist what would you ask? A: Why's my g-spot up my ass?

That is all.

2 thoughts on “And now for a little Sunday sacrilege.

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