I’m guessing the white star in the deep blue Arabian Sea represents the massive U.S. Fifth Fleet. Comprised of about 30 warships (including two aircraft carriers), the fleet patrols the Persian Gulf, the Red Sea, the Arabian Sea, and the east coast of Africa. Gosh, those Iranians sure are crazeeee for wanting a nuclear weapon! What could possibly be more insane? No wonder the U.S. media is constantly telling us what Scary Monsters these people are.
The U.S. has long had Iran virtually encircled as a result of the American occupation of Afghanistan on Iran’s Eastern border, its invasion of Iraq on its Western border, its NATO ally Turkey hovering on Iran’s Northwestern border, some degree of military relationship with Turkmenistan on Iran’s Northeastern border, and multiple U.S. client states sitting right across the Persian Gulf … Additionally, some combination of the U.S. and Israel has bombarded Iran with multiple acts of war over the last year, including explosions on Iranian soil, the murder of numerous Iranian nuclear scientists (in which even one of their wives was shot), and sophisticated cyberattacks. Meanwhile, top American political officials from both parties are actively demanding that an Iranian revolutionary cult be removed from the list of Terrorist organizations (just coincidentally, they’re all on the cult’s payroll). In the past decade, the U.S. and/or Israel have invaded, air attacked, and/or occupied Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, Somalia, Yemen, Libya, Lebanon, Sudan, Syria, the West Bank and the Gaza Strip (to say nothing of the creation of a worldwide torture regime, a system of “black site” prisons around the world to which people were disappeared, and a due-process-free detention camp in the middle of the Caribbean Ocean where many people remain encaged for almost a full decade without charges). During this same time period, Iran has not invaded, occupied or air attacked anyone. Iran, to be sure, is domestically oppressive, but no more so — and in many cases less — than the multiple regimes funded, armed and otherwise propped up by the U.S. during this period. Those are all just facts.
But — despite all of these facts — all Serious people in the U.S. know that Iran is the Aggressor, the Modern Nazis, a True Menace, while the U.S. and Israel are its innocent peace-loving victims.
Looking at the map just now, it hit me like a bolt of lightening: I have completely misunderstood the entire situation in the Middle East. Isn’t it rather obvious that U.S. officials are actually artists, and that U.S. foreign policy is art? I mean, look at the map: there’s a whole big blue swath right in the middle of the region — let’s call it “Iran” — and it doesn’t even have a single star on it! More stars are needed in the blue area in order to complete the work. It’s an aesthetic thing. All you non-artists just wouldn’t understand.
Here are just some of the Scary Monsters whose lives the U.S. may have to destroy with our Freedom Bombs so we can put some more stars on the pretty, pretty map.