CANBERRA, Australia – President Obama announced an agreement Wednesday to expand the U.S. military presence in Australia, underscoring concerns in the region over an increasingly assertive China.
If we don’t do something RIGHT NOW, China will soon be aggressively invading and occupying other countries to secure its own energy resources! Killing civilians and kids with drone strikes in illegal and undeclared wars! Ignoring its treaty obligations! Secretly targeting people all over the world — including OMFG its own citizens! — for assassination, rendition and torture with no due process or recourse! Obviously we cannot let those Evil Villains get away with such dastardly deeds.
Obama insisted that any notion that the United States fears China or wants to exclude the growing power from American economic alliances in the Asia-Pacific region is mistaken. But he said the United States will keep sending a clear message that China needs to accept the responsibilities that come with being a world power.
“It’s important for them to play by the rules of the road,” Obama said.
And by “rules of the road,” we mean “rules of the U.S. Government, World Police.”
Obama said the new deployment to Australia was important because it would help partners in Asia feel that “we have the presence that’s necessary to maintain the security architecture in the region.”
A U.S. military buildup in northern Australia is important and necessary, people. Unlike soaring child poverty, persistent unemployment, a dysfunctional health care system, crumbling infrastructure, layoffs of teachers and local law enforcement, here at home. The Australian government cannot be expected to pick up the tab of course, because it spends so much subsidizing universal healthcare for all of its citizens.
Officials in both countries have emphasized that the agreement does not create a permanent U.S. presence or military base in Australia.
Obama arrived in Australia Wednesday afternoon following the Asia-Pacific economic summit he hosted in Hawaii last week. A central part of the summit was an agreement for a transpacific trade bloc that includes eight countries in addition to the United States.
The agreement sets standard rules for commerce. Obama said that while the U.S. is not intentionally excluding China from the agreement, joining the pact with require Beijing “to rethink some of its approaches to trade.”
It’s all about the money — America’s Owners’ money — and the U.S. taxpayers can and must protect their interests above all else. I ask you: what better way to show our love and support for our betters than by stationing a couple hundred U.S. Marines in northern Australia?