Via email yesterday:
Iris – I recently took over as DSCC chair, and my staff let me know that you were a major backer.
I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but your staff is a bunch of liars and/or incompetent hacks. I was what you might call… an anti-backer. #2L40.
I know President Obama is immensely thankful for all you’ve done.
All I’ve done is try to convince people to desert conservative, corporatist warmongering Democrats (like Barack Obama) in droves, so if true, that would be all kinds of fucked up.
***TOP SUPPORTER RECORD REVIEW***
Supporter record: [REDACTED]
Membership Status: Pending
2013 Membership Rate: $5 (buy membership now)
Yes, I can totally see how as a “major backer” and “top supporter,” my five dollars would be key to your success.
But when I took the reins, my staff informed me of our current monetary circumstances. I’ll be honest: Beating Karl Rove and the Republicans was incredible, but the $145 million cost completely emptied our bank account.
Now, President Obama needs you and me to stop a Republican takeover once again. It’s expected to cost a staggering $200 million – and we have zero in our reserves. Re-building our foundation is critically important; that’s why I need your immediate help today.
No, you cannot have my $5 today (or any day). Since you and the president represent the conservative, corporatist warmongering wing of the Democratic Party, you should have no trouble getting donations from the interests you so ably serve.
Click here to become a 2013 member before the critical FEC deadline on February 28 in just four days. We need 19,000 members to join this month in order to keep pace with the Republicans and prevent a GOP takeover.
According to my ladymath, 19,000 x $5.00 = $95,000.00. Gosh, that’s a long way from $200,000,000.00. I don’t know why you even bother when you can just go right to your masters. Christ, $95,000.00 is tip money to those d00ds.
And if you join from this email, we’ll throw in a free “I’m with Barack” sticker!
Since we launched the campaign to refill our coffers, we’ve had a tremendous response. Get this: we raised a record-breaking $4.2 million in January! But we still have a long road ahead of us, and we’re relying on major backers like you to make sure we can fend off a Republican takeover.
Then you’ll have $4,200,005.00! Woohoo!
The critically important FEC deadline hits in four days.
Ever notice how there’s a “critically important FEC deadline” every single month?
Will you renew your membership for 2013 immediately?
Sure thing. Just as soon as you cease backing conservative, corporatist, warmongering Senators—like Chuck Schumer (D-Israel, Wall $treet), for example. He’s up for reelection in 2016. Start with him.
Thanks for standing with us,
Sen. Michael Bennet
Chair, Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee
Make no mistake: I stand against nearly everything you and your ilk stand for. And in case you are as confused as your staff apparently is, I’ll let Michael J. Smith ‘splain:
[A] big part of the problem is the way the Democratic Party soaks up the energies of people who might otherwise be part of the environmental movement, or the anti-war movement, or the anti-globalization movement, or a band of hardy urban guerrillas spray-painting the lenses of surveillance cameras. (I strongly approve of this kind of thing but I’m a little old for it myself.)
The Democratic Party is not only a necropolis where activists decay into bureaucrats; it’s also a toxic growth poisoning the soil where activism grows — the crabgrass or milfoil that crowds out all the other species and devours all the nutrients. It is not merely an alternative to activism; it is the enemy of activism, and thus the enemy of any politics worthy of the name — by which I mean politics that goes beyond an empty, meaningless rivalry between two white-collar street gangs for the spoils of office.
Good luck in your new gig. With staff like this, you’re going to need it.
Iris Vander Pluym
P.S. Just FYI Senator, I just made a nice, generous donation to an actual lefty. I’m planning to do that every time I get one of these emails from Democrats that contains the magic words: “critically important FEC deadline.”