Coathanger lobby update: Arizona = GIRLCOTT.

The first sentence of this blub is darkly humorous:

AZ Cuts Planned Parenthood Funds

In a move designed to appease anti-abortion advocates, Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer signed into law Friday a bill that cuts state taxpayer money to Planned Parenthood. Use of public funds for abortions is already restricted in most cases in the state, but the new law will ensure that taxpayer money isn’t going indirectly to support abortion services. Planned Parenthood Arizona has said that the funding cuts will endanger its other health services, including preventive health care for close to 20,000 women. Planned Parenthood said it is considering challenging the state law, which was passed by Arizona’s Republican-dominated legislature, in the courts.

Hahaha.  “In a move designed to appease anti-abortion advocates.”  That is freaking hilarious.  Anti-abortion advocates can never, ever be appeased.  They’re going after birth control now, fer chrissakes.

Here, let me translate that news article into reality-speak:

In a move designed to appease anti-abortion advocates deny preventive health care entirely unrelated to abortion services to 20,000 Arizona women, Arizona Gov. Fuckwit-in-Chief Jan Brewer signed into law Friday a bill that cuts state taxpayer money to Planned Parenthood. Use of public funds for abortions is already restricted in most cases in the state, but the new law will ensure that taxpayer money isn’t going indirectly to support abortion services to become hopelessly tainted by coming into proximity of that other icky money that funds abortion services. Planned Parenthood Arizona has said that the funding cuts will endanger its other health services, including preventive health care for close to 20,000 women.  Planned Parenthood said it is considering challenging the state law, which was passed by Arizona’s Republican-dominated legislature Conservative Personality Disorder-afflicted assclown circus, in the courts.

You know, I love the natural beauty of Arizona.  Especially Sedona.  Since the anti-immigration Papers Please law was passed in Arizona in April 2010, I have been shamefully and hypocritically only half-assed-boycotting* the state.  A long-planned vacation in Sedona in 2010 was “too late to cancel.”  A year later, I was in Scottsdale attending a conference with my lover:  his company had locked it in before SB 1070 was signed into law.  (If you have ever done any event planning, you know that hotel and convention contracts are prohibitively expensive to get out of.)  Still, I had a few opportunities to avoid Arizona as well—and I took them.  As much as I would have loved to return to Sedona last year and again this Spring, I chose to vacation elsewhere.  I was invited to attend another conference in Scottsdale that took place just last week: I not only declined, but made sure my reasons for doing so were crystal clear. By this point I had obviously run out of bullshit excuses, and was unlikely to ever return to my beloved Red Rock country unless and until its government stopped acting like fascist asshats. Arizona was already one of the worst states in the country for anti-choice laws, but this latest round of Forced Birth Brigades conservative fuckwittery seals the deal.

Back in 2010, in response to the Papers Please law, a boycott of Arizona businesses promptly ensued and the economic impacts were devastating.  A letter from 60 chief executives — not exactly your typical dirty hippie Socialists— to Arizona State Senate President Russell Pearce, the sponsor of SB 1070, urged repeal of the law, noting:

It is an undeniable fact that each of our companies and our employees were impacted by the boycotts and the coincident negative image.

Pearce was defeated in a recall election last November for being a fascist fuckwit, the first elected official ever recalled in Arizona.  Democracy FTW.

Thus, we are today issuing an official Palace proclamation:

PERRY STREET PALACE
OFFICIAL PROCLAMATION

TO:  The State of Arizona

Let it be known throughout the Earth that unless and until your fascist fuckwittery with respect to immigrants and Vagina-Americans ceases, we shall never be found breathlessly hiking your high desert hills, staring up in awe at your sparkling starlit skies, soaking in your magnificent spas, or languorously lounging around your glistening sun-drenched pools coated in 80 SPF like a glazed donut, as is our wont.  We will not recommend Arizona to those with whom we have sway as a destination for tourism or business, but will instead urge them to avoid it, using every means of persuasion in the Palace arsenal.  And we will emphatically urge people with uteri and their allies to stay as far the fuck away from you as possible until you get your fucking shit together.

You got rid of one fascist fuckwit.  Get rid of them all.

And hurry up, because (a) many thousands of people are suffering unnecessarily, and (b) we shall miss you…terribly.

Signed and sealed this the fifth day of May, 2012 C.E.

-Iris Vander Pluym
Proprietor.

__________
* I am not unaware of or indifferent to the argument that boycotts (and girlcotts) can have negative impacts on the very people whom one is trying to help.  It would be ideal if we could afflict only the powerful without also afflicting the oppressed.  In the meantime, I will attempt to mitigate any such harm by donating to Planned Parenthood of Arizona and urging others to do the same.

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