The Palace has made a startling observation.  In retrospect, it should have been so easy:  it was right there all along, hiding in plain sight.

I’m sure that it has already occurred to you that you just never run into Supreme Court Sociopath Justice Antonin Scalia and Catholic League professional pearl-clutcher Bill Donahue in the same place at the same time, amirite?

That is because… they are one and the same person!  Exhibit A:

(Anyone can buy a can of black shoe polish to put on their hair...!)

Exhibit B: they are both theocrats who are openly hostile to the American constitutional principles of secular government.  Read, e.g., Scalia’s dissent in Lawrence v. Texas (among many other diatribes), and Donahue’s book SECULAR SABOTAGE – How Liberals are Destroying Religion and Culture in America.  No, on second thought, don’t read Donahue’s book.  The title is more than enough to make my point.

Exhibit C is that their personalities are practically identical, including the exact same manifestations of Conservative Personality Disorder:

• “holier-than-thou” attitude
• grandiose
• opposed to equality in principle
• refusal to consider or integrate new knowledge, information or facts which contradict existing, self-serving opinions
• dogmatic
• hyper-religiousness pervading all social interactions
• unwavering belief in supernatural interventions
• temperamental
• histrionic
• bullying and domineering
• extreme deference to the dictates of those authorities perceived to be “legitimate,” and an eagerness to act with unrestrained aggressiveness on their behalf
• punishment oriented
• marginalizes and demonizes out-groups
• blindly nationalistic (“My country, right or wrong! Except theocratic!”)
• believes that he is inherently deserving of preferential treatment
• hyper-defensive of unearned privilege
• arrogant
• narcissistic
• misogynist
• proponent of “traditional family values”
• anti-choice and anti-contraception
• restrictive with respect to controlling female sexual behavior
• anti-feminist
• proponent of strictly binary gender roles and stereotypes
• uninformed views on sexuality
• patronizing and unjust treatment of women
• patriarchal
• steadfastly avoids contradictory facts, opinions or information
• outright rejection of others’ rights to privacy and personal autonomy
• self-righteousness
• delusions of persecution and martyrdom
• pompousness
• pronounced empathy deficit
• pettiness and viciousness
• justifies actions based on arbitrary rules
• markedly unconcerned with the welfare or suffering of others, especially out-groups (e.g., women, gays, and atheists)
• understands “right” and “wrong” as dictates and rules handed down from authorities perceived as higher than self
• legalistic
• insistence on strict adherence to arbitrary rules with no consideration given to resulting absurd outcomes or destructive consequences
• refusal to change opinion in light of compelling contradictory facts
• rigid and stubborn
• repeats destructive behavior and justifies doing so “on principle”
• selectively biased reading comprehension
• anxious and unnerved by cognitive ambiguity, and highly motivated to eliminate it by reducing complex real-world phenomena to discrete dualities
• literalist
• binary thinking (“all-or-nothing,” “either/or” “black & white” “us vs. them”)
• impaired ability to separate correlation from causation;
• inability to recognize blatant hypocrisy in self
• aggressively defensive of own culture, subculture, family structure, or way of life as it were objectively superior to all others
• compulsive political behavior in the service of extreme right-wing views

I ask you: what other explanation could there possibly be?  Well okay, maybe they are secret identical twins.  Either way, I’m sensing a future Pulitzer for the Palace!